Your friends are Cylons and will never return your movies on time because they're going to nuke the planet and in the event that you do survive, you'll be busier listening for the hum of centurions, rather than worrying about a $45 late fee, which you have to pay, because now you really want to watch Let the Right One In, but you'll have to settle for getting Twilight at Hy-Vee, because you trusted your skin job friend to turn in Blade Runner and Son of Rambow. But now there's Cylon civil war and they're too busy killing each other off to worry about us, so you're stuck watching sparkly vampires. All because you trusted too much!!
Turn in your own frakking movies. Trust no one.
So say we all.